Sour Citrus & Feta Bruschetta

Well, now that the Christmas season is over, it is officially "time to get ready for Valentine's Day."

I hate Valentine's Day.

In fact, for the past couple years I've thrown an Anti-Valentine dinner party where we eat unromantic dishes...garlicky, oniony, spicy, sour, bitter, salty, messy, & stinky foods. My favorite appetizer to put out is a big hunk of blue cheese with a "Love Stinks" sign. Anything with a face still attached is always welcome.

The first year I made Angry Lobster, and my guests had to murder their own crustacean. Last year, I made Pasta Puttanesca, a pungent sauce with anchovies, olives, and capers...for the whores.

This year, my theme is "Let's Fork!" I am asking guests to bring an appropriately un-love-ly appetizer to share. I'm thinking of making pissaladiere and chicken liver pate. But, I have so many other ideas...red foods (like beet pasta) and black foods (like crostini with spicy homemade ricotta & black lentils) are on the top of my list.

Here are some other ideas for the perfect "Anti" dinner:

Garlicky

• Bagna Cauda
• Black Garlic Noodles 
• "Broken Hearts" Salad (bitter greens, artichoke hearts, hearts of palm) with Roasted Garlic Vinaigrette 
• Garlic Knots  
• Savory Garlic Ice Cream

Salty

• Brandada (whipped salt cod & potato spread)
• Dill Pickle Popcorn
• Fried Smelts
• Salt & Pepper Tofu
• Smoked Trout Deviled Eggs

Sour

• Avocado Sour Cream Mousse
• Fresh Herb, Grapefruit, & Fennel Salad 
• Goat Cheese Crostini with Orange & Black Pepper Marmalade
• Pickled Shrimp
• Sour Citrus & Feta Bruschetta (recipe below)

Spicy

• Curry-Lime Chicken Wings
• Lamb & Chorizo Chili
• Spicy Peanut Dipping Sauce
• Squid Ink Pasta with Lobster Fra Diavolo Sauce
• Vodka-Spiked Cherry Tomatoes with Pepper Salt (use a pepper vodka!)

Bittersweet

• Black Rice Pudding
• Brown Sugar Cake with Almond Brittle
• Dark Chocolate Tart with Pretzel Crust 
• Red Hot Cinnamon Macarons
• Slut Red Raspberries in Chardonnay Jelly

Sour Citrus & Feta Bruschetta

1 firm pink grapefruit

1 firm clementine

1 medium shallot, minced

1/2 teaspoon white wine vinegar

1/4 teaspoon yellow mustard seeds

1/2 teaspoon minced tarragon

1/2-inch-thick baguette slices, toasted

• Remove the peel and white pith from the clementine. Working over a skillet, cut between the membranes to release the sections. Cut the grapefruit in half & cut out the sections as well.  Squeeze the juice from both fruits into the skillet. 
• Add the shallot, vinegar and mustard seeds. Cook over moderately high heat, stirring, until most of the juice has evaporated and the fruit has started to break down, 2 minutes.
• Let the relish cool to room temperature, then stir in the tarragon and season with salt. Spread the relish over the toasted bread.